realizations

one can breathe and think all they want, but really, what do i do? i want to go back to quito...i go back to the man that didn´t let me in the first time...i tell him i want to buy a ticket and he lets me in...that easy? between my clearer spanish, tearful bloodshot eyes, mixed with my overall pathetic look, i think i cracked that heart of stone a little. he let me through.
i walk to my airline...TACA...TACA...desk...13...it starts at desk 13...coincidence? i go to the lady and tell her that i need to switch my flight to go backto quito today. a one hundred dollar fee and the airport tax and i am out of here! 1:00 pm i can enjoy quito once again (as long and i don´t breathe and i see becky pinto) i could make it, and actually it is the perfect time...but what if rubens can make it into peru? what if he comes here tomorrow? that would be alot of wasted money and time for this joyride to and from quito. and then we would have to take the bus back-the whole purpose of me taking the flight.

once again, i tear up...what am i to do! i said thanks, and gambled for the stay in lima. if it is that easy i will get a flight later if i need one. so i leave desk 13 and it sit...i dont even know what to feel, dont know what to think...so instead i started thinking about what emotion i wanted to eat...ice cream, french fries, starbucks...then earl growled ever so gently...thats the last thing i need right now...lets do another bottle of water...

i went back to the internet to call ruben´s dad back, email my mom, and change my facebook status (i know what is important) ruben´s dad...¨did you talk to ruben? did he find you?¨
¨no, where is he? is he here, in the airport, like around in the airport?¨ this can´t be happening!
¨yeah, did you see him?¨
¨no! but im staying in lima tonight...will he be here for sure in a few days?¨
¨i don´t know bethany he has to go to quito first, but maybe¨this is not helping me, i could still make the flight to quito!
internet...email mom...new message from ruben? what?! i open the mail and it say...
where are you bethany? i have been looking for you! i have to go to quito so i am stuck in the airport and immigration at peru, but ive been looking for you!
WHAT!!! i hurry and pay the lady (who is giving me a discount at this point for being a frequent user) and run back downstairs franticly looking for him. (lets note here that my backpack has never left me...quite the sight!) i can´t see him...and i can´t see any sign of him...nothing no where! RUBEN WHERE ARE YOU!